Sunday, May 09, 2010

Jailbird for a Day

Every have one of those days? One of those days that just makes you wish you had a rewind button so you can have a do over? Well, I sure had one of those this past week.

It started on Wednesday evening. I left my house to go pick up Mandy from work. Mandy, by the way, is my new girlfriend, sorry if I have not blogged about her, have not gotten around to it I guess.

Anyway, I leave to go pick her up from work, in her car, by the way.

So I am less than a block from my house and I get pulled over by a local police officer.

It turns out that he has pulled me over because I failed to wear my seat belt. This is strange in and of itself because I am ALWAYS wearing my seat belt. It is very rare for me to forget to wear it but this night I did. So already I was kind of irritated that I got pulled over the ONE TIME I forget to wear it.

Anyway, he goes back to his car and does whatever it is that they do back there in their police cars while we are waiting to get wherever it was we were going in the first place. I text Mandy to let her know that I just got pulled over.

So he comes back and has me sign my citation. Then he promptly finishes off by telling me that he is going to impound my car (well, Mandys' car) and he is taking me to jail.

Why do you ask? Apparently, Oklahoma County has an open warrant out for me.

Now let me give you some background. Back in 2002, my drivers license was suspended. You see, I have a lead foot, which leads to multiple tickets, which leads eventually to having a suspended license. So, even though my license was suspended, I kept driving of course. Unfortunately, I got pulled over while driving with a suspended license.

So this warrant they have for me is due to a failure to appear for my ticket for driving with a suspended license. The strange thing is that since 2002, I have had my license re-instated. I have been issued not only an Oklahoma state license but a Washington state license. On top of that, since this 2002 ticket, I have been pulled over (yes, multiple times) and have never been caught on this supposed "open warrant." In fact, one of the time that I got pulled over was by an Oklahoma County Sheriff, the county that has this warrant out for me. So why are they catching me on it now? I have no idea.

In any case, the police officer takes me to the local city jail so that I can wait for a county sheriff to come and take me to the county jail.

So I get to the city jail and get put in a little jail cell to await transport to county. The cops tell me that they should be there sometime that night. Needless to say, I end up spending the night in that city jail.

When I am allowed to make my phone call I call Mandy to let her know what is going on and to tell her I won't be able to come pick her up at work.

At some point while I am waiting in the jail cell, she comes by the jail to pick up my personal belongings. Her car is impounded and she does not have her own set of keys to my car. Of course I release everything to her because I know that once I am in county, I will be lucky if I ever see my stuff again.

So the county sheriff finally showed up sometime around 4am and take me off to the county pokee.

I go through the whole booking and processing crap that they do to all the dangerous criminals like me and get put in a holding cell with other dangerous criminals like me. Only, most of these people are nothing like me.

There are a few guys in there for DUI, one for public drunkenness, another on a drug charge. However, at some point, 3 more guys show up all at once. 2 of them were put in there for aggravated assault and the other for armed robbery. Okay, why am I in the same holding cell as these people? Oh, by the way, one of the guys in for aggravated assault is in there because he beat the crap out of a police officer. Yeah, I stay away from that guy.

Anyway, they come in and let me finally make a phone call. I call Mandy and let her know that I have made it to county. Oh yeah, rewind here for a second. The police in the city jail have told her that she can get me out of jail but only when I make it to county. She is powerless to do anything to help me until I get transported and booked in there. So I make my phone call to her and let her know how to get me out.

Shortly after this, they pull us all out of the holding cell where they proceed to take us upstairs (where the real jails are) and take away all of our clothes (including underwear) and put us in those cute little orange jumpsuits. After which, they give us our bedrolls and take us up one more flight of stairs to put us in the jail cells that we will be in until we get out (or in some of these folks cases, until they see a judge and get to stay there for a little while longer). They are assigning us our jail cells and showing us who will be our cell mates. When my turn comes up.....

Lo and behold, they have chosen to mate me up with the cop beater. Oh yeah, I belong in a jail cell with this guy. Crap!

Fortunately for both me and the cop beater....(oh yeah, I can take him. Yeah right!!!!)...just as they are about to close the door behind me, another jailer comes up the stairs and yells out my name announcing that I am going home.

Thank God for Mandy!!!!!

She came and bonded me out just in the nick of time.

So I go back downstairs, process out and walk out the front door of the county jail.

Mandy comes and picks me up, we get her car out of impound and go home where I promptly take a shower to wash the county funk off my body.

And how was your week?

No comments:

Post a Comment