Saturday, October 10, 2009

What CAN You Do?

I have done What Would You Do? and What Would You Do Part 2.

This is sort of a continuation of that that has quite a bit to do with my last post Jesica 6.4.76 - 10.9.09.

The question I pose this time is What Can You Do?

I mean no disrespect to anyone at all and I am very thankful for all of the thoughts and prayers from everyone so don't take this the wrong way, it is just my way of getting things off my chest.

The statement I have been getting so much these past couple of days is some form of 'if there is anything you need, please call (email) me (us).'

I completely understand the need for someone to convey this feeling to someone that has lost a loved one but it really hit me this weekend that I really don't understand how to respond to something like that.

What can a person really do for someone that has lost someone this close to them?

I guess the people that are close to that person geographically could do things like bring meals if they were needed or something like that but what about people that are hundreds or even thousands of miles away. What can they really do?

Perhaps it is just a way for someone to let them know that they are saddened by your loss as well and just want to let them know that they are not alone in their pain or something along those lines. But to be perfectly honest (and again, no disrespect intended here) even though the sentiment is appreciated, it is not really all that comforting.

I am sorry if this has offended anyone and that truly was not my intention with this post. Like I said, it is just me trying to get something off my chest. Call it venting or something like that or call it my way of trying to deal with the situation.

In spite of these weird feelings I am having, I do thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers and words.

God Bless you all.


  1. I had never realized how insulting that phrase could be until now. Man I’m sorry. Here I am trying to say the most comforting things possible and I end up being an irritant.

    And for the record, I didn’t see this post as insulting at all.

  2. no Dave you weren't really irritating me. nobody has been irritating me by saying it.

    this post was mostly just an observation.

  3. Cole Roberts4:20 AM

    I am so sorry to hear about your wife Jesica. I am praying for you all. Stay strong bro’.
    God Bless you

  4. Anonymous6:32 PM

    Why they can do is let you know they are thinking of you. Which is what they are doing when they offer to help even from far away. Sometimes that help might even be to take a collection to help pay for expenses, sending clothing for the kids, toys, anything that might take their minds off losing their mother even if only for a little bit.

  5. My tears for you in my eyes as I respond are tears of joy and remorse for your love lost and your loved one God gained. We shall all be together soon forever and ever.

  6. guilty as charged...
    with love- red